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What i Want

8:24 pm - i scarf down a Chinese chicken salad before leaving for the party, so that i wouldn't park myself near the cheese and crackers all night. The tiny slip of paper hidden within the fortune cookie that i eagerly cracked open read this: "what do you want?" Now, how in the hell is that a fortune? I turned it over, looking for something more as i nibbled on one edge of the broken bland cookie. Nothing.

i drive on two freeways, obediently following the instructions of my in-car navigation system, but not really paying attention to where i was going, lost in my own thoughts ... What do I want? Stupid fortune that isn't a fortune, but it was an intriguing question. What did I want?

A chance to do it over again, to turn the page back to that day, or rather turn the page of our collective novel backward in time, to that crisp evening when we first met. Today reminded me of that day -- the cool-clean feeling of a new january morning -- the world simmering after a three-day thunderstorm.

i walk confidently into an unfamiliar house, alive with a festive early-January party; people sucking out the last breath of the holidays. i step into the grand room, and instantly "feel" your presence; across the room, holding court, but keenly aware of my every move. The secret scent of your desire --distinct from any of the other party scents; the sticky sweet pall of liquored bodies sweating out seduction in flavors of cinnamon, apple and pine, but the fervent burn of your lust that only i could smell above them all, made me heady and unsettled.

i acknowledge the erotic sensation of You undressing me with your mind's eye, as you smile in conversation with some nameless woman across the room -- just out of my view. i bow my head down to one side, attempting to somehow eavesdrop on Your inner-dialogue, listening to Your silent assessment of me.

You're paying attention to that girl with seemingly rapt attention, but Your steely-blue eyes are on transfixed on me, burning through me, conjuring up fantastic fantasies of the dirty slut you'd turn me out to be, just as soon as you decide the "when" of our situation. The next second wouldn't be too soon in my estimation, but i silently forbid myself the luxury of acknowledging my slutty needs and instead turned them to intensify on the fierce wanting to only serve You and make You happy.

Then the question of "where?" the bathroom, the kitchen, the coat closet? no matter. And with that sly thought, my cunt flushed with hot need, reminding me of my dirty desires ... My smooth virgin neck tingling with the ache for your touch, your warm breath whispering dirty words of exactly who i am, and the nasty, naughty things You'd do to me; Your nose brushing gently against the back of my ear as You nudge my hair away, and whisper how "fucking hard" i have made you with my slutty presence ... how You are quite aware of what a total whore i truly am - underneath all this charm-school-girl etiquette that i present outwardly - and how very soon You'd fuck my mouth, my cunt, my mind ... and "oh look here ..." just look how wet the little slut has become. My, my ... I lick my lips absentmindedly.

You smile mysteriously through the crowd at me, and then turn away, breezing back to your conversation with that woman. Foreign, lithe, pretty, feminine; her lips more plump than mine, her hair darker, longer, her tits a little fuller, her eyes colored with the same lust and desire -- though not as intense -- as my eyes. i felt the pangs of jealousy rise inside of me and clenched my jaw. i don't know her, and i don't care to -- I didn't like her energy from the get-go, and not simply because she had Your attention. i instinctively perceived her as "fake," and i just don't care for fake people.

She only seemed interested in You because of who you are in our little social circle ... the success You'd achieved, the material things You had acquired, the material comforts your lifestyle could provide to her.

But there you are across the great room, glancing back at me -- our eyes meet. my eyelids flutter, trying to recapture my imaginary interaction. i bite my lower lip unconsciously in remembrance of my sweet dirty fantasy, and unwittingly tuck my hair behind the ear where i felt your make-believe breath hiss my fate.

i turn away completely, my face red with shame, my back to you, engaging in mundane conversation - a valiant effort to deny You access to my psyche, my body, as i desperately attempt to ignore You.

i momentarily lose my balance, teetering to one side of my tall black high-heel, and then regain my equilibrium with an about-face toward my Hostess, turning my attention to trivial party things: how was your new year and how about that rain; what can i get you to drink and let me hang up your coat; did you try that new restaurant downtown and how is your dog? Questions i know the answers to are easier for me to answer.

You don't seek me out, rather You let me marinate in the wanton juices you've stirred up ... my cunt hot with the desire to be plunged into deeply by Your thick cock again and again. And ultimately left wanting more.

I move gracefully around the room, smiling my winning smile, flitting from one mindless exchange of niceties to another; trying too hard to pretend as though i don't notice you ... feel you ... need you. You never lose sight of me, and i no longer know what it is like to not feel you near me. Something has changed, the earth has shifted - the imprint of you upon me ... i can't shake this, and it is unsettling, unfamiliar, scary and new.

i wander outside, feeling alone in unfamiliar dark waters that you have suddenly pulled me into. i amble, unaware and aimless, down a garden path while trying to reconcile the feelings that you've riled up inside of me.

a hedge a turn a bench a fountain ... a lusty thought that pulls my attention away my self-awareness

a realization: i'm lost and alone in a strange place. i sigh, only partially thankful for the solitude i've stumbled upon in the wooded backyard of this party.

the quiet pierces the night, and i am quickly keen to the reality that there are no longer sounds of a party surrounding me, just the crackle of newborn stars, and a faint flutter of tiny cricket wings attempting one last lonely note.

i slow my gait, perk my ears, listening to the crunch of leaves under footstep. i stop, crane my neck out like a fawn assessing the change of mood. The quiet grows louder, my heartbeat thumps harder, the wind skips across the thin fabric of my dress and my nipples shiver straight to attention. i hold my breath.

Your "hello" thunders through the night air and my breath is sucked from my quivering chest.

i spin to meet you face to face, but it is such a foggy night, that all i can make of You is a shadowy, dark figure. i'm at a loss for words, (a rarity for me,) and You laugh at having caught me off guard.

"it's rude not to reply to a greeting, you know." You chastise me.

i stammer, "i, uh, i'm sorry ... i just ... You just ..." i peer into the night, trying to pretend as though i don't know it is You.

"um, do I know you?" i ask meekly, attempting to sound strong and in control.

You step out of the shadows and stand as close as You can without touching me.

"Do you know me -- ha!" You shake Your head.

The night settles between our two worlds.

"Cheeky, little slut." You're genuinely amused at my response.

You press your warm lips against my cheek, and breathe in the sweet smell of my face, gripping a chunk of my golden hair tightly in Your strong hand.

"You'd better fucking know who I am, darling whore." You hiss with warning. My knees go weak.

Then you wrench my head back, and pull the top of my dress to the side, exposing my supple tit, just there for Your taking. i gasp in shock and make no move to protest, only whimper & silently beg for more.

You graze your lips gently over the length of my smooth neck. i'm clearly aroused by Your forcefulness, Your perfect knowledge and command over my body ... just a grunt, a sigh, a tug and i involuntarily react.

You slip Your free hand quickly under my dress, and press your palm against my hot slit, searing through my stockings.

You shove two thick fingers into my fiery cunt, piercing through the thin fabric of my fishnets -- not caring that You've ruined them.

Your tongue dances around my ear lobe, teasing me. Hissing at me, riling me up. i melt in your arms, with deep, dizzying submission ... i'm Yours ... i always have been, but on this night, the moon is finally our witness.

You push me back against an ancient tree, sticky with fresh sap. I moan, unable to contain my desire. Then You release me, studying me, almost smirking at my lust and wanton need, playing with my eagerness for stimulation ... i plead with my eyes, but say nothing. i can't admit it even to myself, let alone, to You, this need, this desire that lives inside of me.

"What do you want, little one?" You reserve the more accurate name of "slut" for later because You sense that i'll be more trustworthy and relaxed. How You know this, though, i am at a loss. Plus I can feel you've already dismissed me as being able to even remotely spry with you. I'm just butter in your warm strong hands at this point.

"i" scrambling to think of a witty smart reply. "i...." i decide not to answer, to deny the insatiable and forbidden desire inside my soul. i just stammer and sigh.

You release me and move to walk away, bored with my lackadaisical response.

"Wait!" i shriek, fearful that i've pushed You away for good. "Please, Sir!" i beg.

You turn with a sly smile on your chiseled face. "Well? I'm waiting, slut."

I lick my dry lips, wind whipping against us both, "i ... i ..." and i'm not quite sure how to formulate the words to convey to you all that i want.

"Nevermind." You grow impatient and dismiss me, sauntering off, back to the party.

"Sir, please!" I plead with you through the January night, my gravely voice getting lost on the wind.

i hear your footsteps slow, but i know that i have little time with which to persuade you.

"i know what i want." I bravely declare, not even sure what i'm going to say, only that i do not want you to leave me.

"Yesssss, what then, Aurora?" Your impatience is conveyed in the texture of Your voice. You knew what i wanted too, but you weren't going to let me off that easy -- you wanted to humiliate me by making me acknowledge it, force me to own my desires and speak them aloud.

i shiver in the chill of the night, my plump breast still hanging out in the open as a testament to the slut that resides inside of me. my mouth wet with saliva, cunt wet with fire, tiny strands of hair sticking to my sweaty face and a look of what i know must be pure submission.

"Sir." i whispered. Why was this so hard? my entire body hot with shame and desire. "Take me, fuck me, punish me, own me." i blushed at my admission.

You chuckle softly at my raw lust for You and all that You have to offer me, considering all of the ways you could turn the slut inside of me out.

"You're just a cock-hungry whore that needs her ass spanked & her cunt filled." The honesty of your words cut into me, enflaming my entire body, my pussy smoldering.

My breath quickens...my heart races ... can i be...can i truly be this much of a slut?

The night air is cool against the bits of steamy breath that escape the slight opening of my mouth. i close my eyes in shame.

A tear creeps down my cheek ... why did i feel so ashamed at confessing my dirty desires aloud to You?

The wind scattering the audible evidence amongst the branches and leaves of the trees, the silence falling still between You and me.

Suddenly i feel You closer. The back of Your hand caressing my tear...loving my pain...approving of my desires.

You tilt my head up ... Your gaze melts me, although my eyes are closed and i'm disbelieving of Your "realness." This can't really be happening ... It is.

"Open your eyes...you will behold your true nature...I will unleash it for you." You quietly assure me of a future i've only fantasized about for so long.

Your tongue traces over my lips...i inhale Your sweet breath... it invigorates me and stirs the longing hidden deep within my soul.

"Yes Sir...please." i manage, barely audible as I melt against your fiery presence. "i beg you."

This is all i've ever yearned for in my life.

"Oh, slut." You hiss in my ear-hole, as you grip my hair tightly from the nape of my neck, thrusting me back, "I'm going to make you mine, and you'll exist only to please Me." Your tongue finds its way inside the cavernous tunnel of my ear, exploring, melting me in Your hold, tasting my dark thoughts.

"And we'll let the naughty little slut inside of you bloom into who you were always meant to be in this life." You promise, and lead me -- Your hands still firmly clutched around my silken hair. You shove my head down, forcing me to kneel on the tiny pebbles that littered the ground.

"On your knees, slut." Your tone darkens as the moon disappears behind a cloud cover.

My balance wavers as i obey Your command. You release Your hand from my hair, and my head falls innocently against Your bulging cock, throbbing with heated need beneath the fabric of Your slacks.

i moan, accidentally. i catch myself, ball my fists up and force them to my side, as i raise my eyes to meet Yours.

The longest, most truthful moment of my entire life is shared between our gaze. i cannot close my mouth, nor open it to speak the words that would convey to You just how much i need You. Need to submit to You.

"May, i, Sir?" I finally whisper, afraid of the words.

"What do you want, slut?" You hover above me, barking the words ferociously at me.

You know exactly what i want -- You've known forever, but You are going to make me say it, regardless. i raise my voice a decibel higher as my knees tremble, gnarled against the river rocks.

"Sir? May i please suck Your beautiful cock." i bite my bottom lip in shame at the little whore You reduced me to, in the backyard of someone's party.

You draw in a deep breath, not moving Your gaze from me, and reach down to unleash Your beautiful, solid, perfect cock from within the confines of Your trousers. Seeing your beautiful manhood in all its glory makes me dizzy, heady with lust.

Instead of waiting for Your verbal approval, my mouth instinctively feeds hungrily, lavishly on your smooth, throbbing, warm cock. i devour You, slurping and moaning my way up and down Your delicious street, as if it were the only sustenance my wanton little whoreish mouth had ever known.

You bend over me, while I'm in the middle of a trance, my mouth getting fucked by You. You slap your hand down on my ass, pushing my head deeper down on the length of Your cock.

"You slut, you. I never gave you permission to suck my cock." Instinctively, i arch my back and raise my ass up as if to beg for more punishment. You indulge me.

Smack, Your hand comes down harder over my cunt this time, and You keep Your hand against me.

"I can feel your hot little cunt under your dress." You hiss to me. I get dizzy with arousal. I moan, my pink-wet mouth vibrating Your cock down the cavern of my throat. "I know exactly what she wants ..." You muse.

You grab my hair and yank my mouth from You, strings of saliva and precum trailing off my lips and chin. I'm bewildered and stunned. You smile down at me, shaking Your head, denying me. Then smiling and taking away my toy, tucking Him back into his gray cotton-home & zipping up your trousers.

My eyes get wet with tears whose origins i do not understand. Did i do something wrong? Did i displease you in some way?

You pause for a moment, eyes appraising, breaths slowing. i practice my patience and wait for Your command.

"Face the tree, remove your dress, and place your hands over your head." Your tone demands a response, and i scramble to my feet and turn to face the tree. While I'm complying with Your wishes, you pull out black leather gloves from a hidden coat-pocket and put them on each hand. i sense the tone of the situation taking a dark turn.

"Yes, Sir." My reply is a husky whisper.

My entire body trembles with anticipation, and my self-awareness is unrelenting still. However, there is little time to process thoughts for too long.

You grasp my hair, the scent of new leather wafting into my olfactory. You tilt my head back, whispering in my ear. "You are mine now, slut, and I will do with you as I please. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir, i understand and am grateful." my voice had now regained some confidence, as i tried to get a foothold in our endeavor. My body flush and my cunt gushing; a dull ache throbbing betwixt my thighs.

i raise my hands and clasp them behind me, in trusting obedience to Your instructions. You smile with deep approval and gratitude -- i've momentarily pleased you.

Your fingertips sear against me as they trail down the long country of my neck and back. You pause at the curve of my buttocks, pressing your thumbs into the muscles just above my ass. And then ... The smack of your leather-clad hand on my ass shocks me out of my bliss, knocks me off my floating cloud. i gasp, and yet my desire surges. You replace your spank of your hand with the spank of your swollen, hard, perfect cock, and then at once you drag it along my ass & cunt crack and then with a mighty thrust, ram it up my tight asshole. I squeal out in shock and delight & alsmot fight against you. Your head pressed to mine, you deeply breathe & every swirling fiber of my being -- twisting up my heart up and shoving it into my throat. I only want for you to possess me, own me. I'd do anything for you. This was the first stop on the SubSpace Express ..... Next stop delirious Domination.





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